Do you find yourself feeling drained and exhausted after spending time with someone?
Do you find yourself ‘managing’ these people in order to avoid or minimize the effects of their draining behaviour?
If so, then you may have come across an energy vampire.
In this blog post, I will cover everything relating to Energy Vampires!
Table of Contents
What Are Energy Vampires?
Energy vampires are people who sap your energy, leaving you feeling drained and exhausted.
Energy vampires can come in many forms: a friend with endless demands of your time; somebody with chronic illness or pain that they keep bringing up in conversation; the colleague who always tries to one-up you during meetings.
Any relationship where someone requires constant attention and care from you is likely to be an energy vampire.
Energy vampires are extremely common and many of us know someone who fits into this category such as a friend or family member.
11 Signs Of An Energy Vampire | Are You An Energy Vampire?
They’re always involved in some kind of drama
Drama is their best friend. They often create drama even where it doesn’t exist, and they are usually the cause of most dramas occurring in your life.
Their lives are always dramatic with one crisis after another, yet somehow they manage to avoid being affected by them entirely.
Drama is a great way for energy vampires to get attention and sympathy from you.
You’ll find yourself constantly involved in their dramas, whether it be a friend with relationship problems or a family member going through a rough patch.
“My ex is the most inconsiderate person in the world. She needs to get her act together if she wants me back!”
“You won’t believe what happened last night…my mother had another one of her episodes and I was up all night with her until my alarm went off this morning for work.”
They always try to one-up you
One-upmanship is a common behaviour among energy vampires.
They constantly think they know better than you, and will always try to prove it by sharing their own related story or experience.
They may even agree with you, just to turn around and offer a different perspective.
If they can’t one-up you in this way, then they will try another angle.
You say “I loved that movie! I watched it three times!” They reply back, “Oh yeah? Well, I saw it five times!”
You say “I’m exhausted! I was up until midnight doing my assignment.” They reply back, “Yeah? Well I did mine in three hours and got an A+”
They downplay your problems and amplify their own
Energy vampires often take pleasure in trying to make you feel small and unimportant.
They may do this by pretending they haven’t heard what you said, or even ignoring it completely — hoping that your problem will go away if they don’t acknowledge it.
By doing so, the conversation moves on from the topic at hand to your self-esteem.
They may even try to make you feel guilty about how much worse they have it in comparison to what you’re going through.
You say “I had such a stressful day at work, my boss gave me some big project that I know nothing about!” They reply back with “Well, you should be grateful that your boss trusts you enough to give you this project.”
You say “I’m so sorry I was late. My car wouldn’t start and the public transport is a nightmare!” They reply back with “Well at least there’s no traffic on my way here” or “At least you have a car” or “At least you weren’t late for work.”
They avoid doing anything that might help your cause and instead bring the conversation back to themselves. They do this by asking another question about their problem in comparison to yours — which gives them attention and sympathy from others around you.
They take advantage of your kindness against you
Energy vampires are great manipulators.
They know just how to get you on their side, even if it means putting someone else down in the process. And they’ll do whatever is necessary for this outcome — including using your kind nature against you.
Their manipulative ways often make them look like victims when in fact they’re the aggressor.
You say “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to see you as much lately, but this week is looking better.” They reply back with “Well no one ever asks me what’s going on in my life. You don’t even care about how I feel!”
They will not hesitate to play the victim card in order to get your sympathy, even if it means making themselves look like the victim.
They employ guilt tactics or ultimatums to get you to do what they want
You’ve probably found yourself in a situation where you say no to something, and then the energy vampire springs into action.
They may use guilt tactics or even an ultimatum to get what they want from you — playing on your sense of duty if necessary.
Your friend says “I know we planned to watch a movie tonight, but can you come with me to my friend’s party? I really want your support there!”
At this point, it’s difficult for you to say no without feeling guilty or unreasonable.
Not wanting to feel like the bad guy in this situation, you go along with them anyway even though that means sacrificing what was already planned.
They use guilt tactics and pressure to force you into making a decision that is in their best interest, rather than yours — something an energy vampire would never do for someone else.
They pick on or bully others.
Energy vampires are known for picking on and bullying others.
If the person they’re targeting is someone you care about, then it’s likely that their behavior towards them will affect your relationship with them as well at some point.
You say “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to see you as much lately, but this week is looking better.” They reply back with “Well I guess you’d rather choose spending time with your new friend over me!”
They may not actually say the words “I don’t want to be friends anymore,” but their actions speak louder than anything else. Their harsh words will likely affect your relationship one way or another.
They are willing to maliciously hurt others in order to get what they want, even if that means causing you pain.
They intimidate you with their anger
Energy vampires are known for using anger to intimidate others.
And if they’re angry, it’s likely that you won’t be able to reason with them until their mood changes.
You say “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to see you as much lately, but this week is looking better.” They reply back with “What the hell do you mean you’re busy this week? You never have time for me!”
Their anger may be directed toward another person or even an inanimate object, but either way, it’s not likely to dissipate quickly.
Energy vampires are known for being self-centered.
They expect others to put them first at all times, even if it means sacrificing their own time or resources in the process.
You say “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to see you as much lately, but this week is looking better.” They reply back with “Well no one ever asks me what’s going on in my life. You don’t even care about how I feel!
They will not hesitate to ask you for favors or help of any kind, regardless of the inconvenience it causes you.
They are willing to make sacrifices only if they benefit them more than they benefit you.
They have a lot of insecurities
Energy vampires are known for having a lot of insecurities.
Their need to be constantly reassured about their appearance, intelligence and self-worth will likely affect how much time you spend with them as well as the type of relationship you have together.
You say “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to see you as much lately, but this week is looking better.” They reply back with “Really? You don’t think I’m ugly do you?”
Their insecurities will likely come up at the worst possible times. For example: during an important work meeting or on your birthday.
You may find yourself constantly reassuring them that they’re beautiful, smart and worthy of love.
The more you reassure them, the less likely they are to take your words seriously.
They are unlikely to accept responsibility
Energy vampires are known for being unwilling to accept responsibility.
It’s unlikely that they will be able to take any blame for their actions, even if it means lying about the situation or twisting the truth until they’re in a more favorable light.
- If they are caught drinking while underage, it’s the bartender’s fault for not checking their ID.
- If you catch them lying about something to your face, they will blame someone else or claim that they were misquoted.
Signs you are Being Affected by an Energy Vampire
Feeling Frequently Stressed
If you’re constantly stressed out from dealing with the Energy Vampire in your life, it’s likely that they have a negative effect on you.
You feel anxious or worried about having to interact with them again soon.
You may experience symptoms such as sweating, nausea and headaches when interacting with them for long periods of time.
Frequently Feeling Guilty
If you feel guilty after spending time with the Energy Vampire in your life, it’s likely that they have a negative effect on you.
You feel guilty about not being able to spend as much time with them as you’d like.
You may blame yourself for their unhappiness or disappointment in some way, which further contributes to the cycle of guilt.
You’re Constantly Being Put Down
If you feel like the Energy Vampire in your life is constantly putting you down, it’s likely that they have a negative effect on you.
They may make subtle or direct comments about what they perceive to be your weaknesses and flaws.
If you do something they don’t like, their negative comments and remarks will likely cause you to doubt yourself or feel embarrassed.
You may find yourself avoiding doing things with them out of fear for how they’ll react if your plans fall through.
It’s All Your Fault Feeling Exhausted in their Company
If you feel exhausted after spending time with the Energy Vampire in your life, it’s likely that they have a negative effect on you.
You may feel drained by their negativity or constant need for attention and reassurance.
It’s also possible that they are constantly drawing things out of you without giving back much to return the favor.
If you find yourself feeling constantly exhausted after spending time with them, it’s likely that they have a negative effect on you.
You may feel like your energy levels are lower than normal when in their company and better when away from them for extended periods of time.
How to Deal With Energy Vampires
1. Recognize Energy Vampires in your life
The first step is to recognize if certain people in your life are Energy Vampires.
People who are constantly putting you down, draining your energy or making you feel guilty will likely fall under this category.
It’s also important to recognize when these behaviors become excessive and start having a negative effect on the quality of your life.
This step is key in starting to take back control from Energy Vampires in your life.
2. Put yourself first
Once you’ve recognized the Energy Vampires in your life, it’s important to put yourself first.
This can be difficult in some cases, particularly if they are close family members.
However, it’s important to recognize when you’re being negatively affected by their presence and put a stop to this behavior before it starts impacting your health or mood.
If they’re constantly making you feel guilty about not spending enough time with them, don’t allow it to affect your life and schedule.
Take back control by putting yourself first and setting boundaries that will help protect your mental health.
3. Learn To say No
Learning to say no is a very important aspect of dealing with Energy Vampires.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by their constant demands on your time, it’s important to learn how to say no.
This can be especially hard if they have the effect of making you feel guilty about doing so.
However, learning the art of saying no is essential in setting boundaries that will protect both yourself and your relationships.
4. Set boundaries
Setting boundaries is another important part of dealing with Energy Vampires.
It’s important to recognize when their behavior has become excessive and start putting an end to it by setting healthy boundaries that will protect both your mental health as well as the relationship you have with them.
For example: if they’re constantly making comments about your weight or appearance, it’s important to let them know that you don’t appreciate the behavior and will no longer be accepting of their remarks.
It’s also a good idea to stop giving into guilt by refusing to do things for them even if they attempt to make you feel guilty about not helping out or spending time with them.
5. Cut them from your life (if possible)
If their behavior is extremely negative and you’re finding it difficult to set boundaries with them, the best option may be cutting them from your life.
This can be a very difficult step in some cases as they likely have a strong impact on our lives through family members or close friends.
However, if they are constantly draining your energy without giving anything back, it’s important to make the decision of cutting them out of your life.
This step is often essential in protecting yourself from their negative behavior and also protecting relationships with others who are not Energy Vampires.
Best Crystals To Deal With Energy Vampires
If you’re an empath, energy vampires can leave you feeling utterly depleted.
The good news is that there are crystals that can help protect you from these energy stealers, whether they intend to or not.
This crystal is an excellent shield for deflecting negative energy and can help to protect you from people whose energies may be difficult.
If you’ve had trouble setting boundaries with energy vampires or feel like they’re having an especially strong effect on your life, Spectrolite is the perfect crystal for this purpose.
Citrine is a great crystal for protecting against negative energies.
It can be worn as jewellery or carried in the pocket to help deflect these energy vampires from your life.
Amethyst is a common crystal for deflecting negative energies and protecting from unwanted influences.
It’s also been used to help heal sadness, loss or grief which can be especially helpful if you’ve experienced any of these feelings through energy vampires in your life.
This is another great crystal for deflecting negative energy and can help to protect you from people whose energies may be difficult.
Jasper protects you while grounding energies and cleaning your chakras.
It absorbs negative energy while grounding energies and purifying your chakras.
How Do You Stop Being An Energy Vampire?
If you’re an energy vampire, there are ways for you to stop draining others and also how to balance yourself.
1. Have the Desire to heal yourself
First and foremost, you have to want it.
Wanting is not enough but your desire has to be strong for this will help you in healing yourself.
You can’t just rely on others because they might not see the same thing that’s there inside of you or what are your problems.
By wanting to heal yourself and stop being an energy vampire is a process that you can do on your own.
You have to want it and work for it, no one else will make this happen but yourself.
2. Become aware of your behavior
The next thing you have to do is to become aware of how your behavior affects others.
You need to be aware of how you treat people and the way that they behave towards you.
Do not blame them, but instead look at yourself and your behaviors.
Sometimes we get so caught up in our own emotions and problems that we fail to see what’s happening around us or even with ourselves.
If someone is trying to reach out to you, but you don’t want them around because of the way they make you feel or think about yourself, then it’s time for a change.
When we become aware of our behaviors and how they affect others is when we can start healing ourselves from being an energy vampire or even becoming better at spotting one too.
Just by becoming aware of how you treat people and the way that they behave towards you is one step closer to stopping being an energy vampire.
3. Develop the art of listening.
Listening is one of the most important things when it comes to communication.
We often listen just enough so that we can reply or talk about what’s on our minds but not really listen.
Stop thinking about how you’re going to respond and start focusing on what they are saying.
This will help them feel valued because you’re giving them your full attention and not just looking for how you can reply.
When we start listening to others, it makes them feel like they matter because someone is actually paying attention to what’s going on around them.
You don’t have to agree with everything that the other person says but at least hear everyone out before jumping to conclusions or saying something that might hurt them.
4. Create Personal Boundaries For Yourself
After you have become aware of the things where you drain other people of their energy, create a list of personal boundaries for yourself that you won’t cross.
What Energy Draining behaviors will you not engage in any longer?
What boundaries can you create on yourself to assist you?
What alternative health behavior or activity may you substitute it with?
Every time you notice that you are draining someone emotionally who you love and feel safe around, tell them how you are draining their energy.
Make sure you discuss with those around you that you want to break free from these negative behaviors because it’s not healthy.
You could also ask your friend or someone close to you to notice whenever you engage in energy-draining activity to let you know.
Don’t be afraid to tell people that you’re becoming aware of certain behavior patterns and trying to stop them.
They can help you give better or healthier alternatives for your negative behavior so you can replace it.
5. Forgive yourself
After you see how negative the behavior you have had for years, you will definitely feel bad about yourself.
Instead of hating yourself because you have been an energy vampire, forgive yourself for being so unaware.
You weren’t aware that there were other ways to live your life and think it was the right way.
Now, when you are more conscious about what’s going on around you, learn from this time in your past where you drained people’s energy.
Don’t hate yourself because you weren’t aware of what was going on around you, but instead learn from it and give yourself a break.
You are not the same person anymore!
You have changed for the better after this experience!
Are Introverts Energy Vampires?
No, introverts are not Energy Vampires. Introversion is a personality trait and has nothing to do with draining energies.
It all depends on the individual’s nature.
Both introverts and extroverts can be energy vampires but, being either has no correlation to being an energy vampire.
Can An Empath Be An Energy Vampire?
Nope, that’s not possible because Empaths are pretty much the opposite of Energy Vampires.
In fact, if you are an empath you are more likely to be a victim of an Energy Vampire.
What Does an Energy Vampire Look Like?
An Energy Vampire can be anyone. They don’t look a certain way.
It all depends on their nature and the way they behave towards people around them.
They do not necessarily look different, but if you identify any of their bad habits then it is easy to spot an energy vampire.
Are narcissist Energy Vampires?
Yes, narcissists are energy vampires.
They drain your energies by making you feel inferior or getting something from you to make themselves look superior.
Their main objective is to feed their ego and self-image, they also do it because of insecurity issues which makes them vamp up on others’ positive emotions.
How To Be A Better Energy Vampire?
There is no being a “better energy vampire”. One should not drain other people’s energies.
How do you drain an energy vampire?
Don’t focus on taking revenge on others. The moment you even thought about reacting to a situation, you let the energy vampire win.
Instead, understand energy vampires first then deal with them accordingly.
Don’t do what they do to others, that won’t make them change.
Other Names For Energy Vampires
Psychic Vampires or Emotional Vampires are the same as Energy Vampires.
Do You Know Any Energy Vampire Books?
Yes, these books below are some great reads:
- Dodging Energy Vampires by Christiane Northrup
- The Empath’s Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People
- Awakened Empath by Luna and Sol
What is the opposite of an Energy Vampire? How to be that?
Someone who doesn’t drain people but instead gives others light and hope.
Those that empower others are the opposite of Energy Vampires.
You need to realize the one who has great empathy, and full of love is always satisfied and content with life.
Since their glass is full, they want everyone else’s glass to be full.
This will only happen if you are truly fulfilled.
This is the main goal of spirituality.